So I’m pretty excited to write this blog. “I’m Not Beautiful like you, I’m Beautiful like me” is one of my favorite sayings, quotes, words to remember. I chose this particular picture to show the strength, confidence and love of self I have developed. Growing up, I never really cared so much about what I wore or how I looked until I moved to the US in the 7th grade. I have to admit, as a confident, bubbly tom boy coming straight from Zambia, my self esteem immediately went down when I was first bullied and told I was “TOO DARK, too skinny, with an ugly African accent and so many more negative comments. Although these words did affect me for about 2yrs, they also gave me the strength to become the woman I’ve become now as well as to be an advocate for those who are/have been bullied. Since going through this, I can truly say at the age of 29, I have become even more comfortable in my skin while living my life the best way I can. (I actually thank God I went through that bullying phase bc now I’m even stronger and confident) Being comfortable in one’s own skin is not a state that comes easily to many, I know it wasn’t for me at the age of 13, 14 and even 15 as well during my adulthood. We struggle with our failure to meet societies standards or even just our own. We starve, workout, crunch, pluck, dye, wax, inject ourselves toward an unattainable ideal. Bear in mind that most celebrity photo’s are airbrushed. A reminder to my readers that life is too short to worry that your thighs are too dimply or your ears are too pointy or your boobs are too small, too big, your upper arms sag, etc. (Yes, I workout and make sure I’m healthy but I don’t do it for societies approval, I do it bc it makes me feel great, so if there’s something you don’t like heck yea work on it bc that’s what YOU want) Life is too short to get upset at finding another wrinkle or grey hair. Life is too short to spend apologizing for the genetic hand we were dealt. Life is too short to care about the opinion or compromise yourself especially for some tosser(s) or so called friend who can’t treat you with respect and care. We have to start thinking about ourselves in a healthy way. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. To learn a type of comfort and acceptance of our likes and dislikes, our choices and values, and how we live our lives. it’s the knowledge that we’re not perfect, and mistakes do not make us worthless. it’s a form of grace, of living in alignment with who we are, and not trying to fit ourselves into a mould. Sure I want to look my best so I exercise my mind, body and eat healthy and I treat everyone like an old friend and I laugh often BUT I’ve also learned to have healthy boundaries bc now I recognize what is not good for me emotionally and I am definitely not bothered about what others think of me. I am Unapologetically Me.
As I remind myself that I’m not beautiful like you, I’m beautiful like me I also keep the following in mind: Treat others well, recognize who does not treat you well, live well by treating yourself well, and do all you can with joyful confidence and you will come to love yourself and not tolerate people who do not treat you with care and respect.
To each one of my readers, may you always remember that you’re not beautiful like anyone else, your’e beautiful like you. We were all created in our own unique way. Love yourself better as you focus on working on YOU for YOU, it’s Not Selfish.